For starters, just take Cleveland, Ohio movers like those from Weleski Transfer Cleveland. They would need an army of elves to deliver toys to every child in the city. There are about 388,000 people (based on the most recent U.S. Census) in the Cleveland city limits. Of these, about seven percent are under five years old. If we consider just half of these (the older half), it equates to about 13,580 kiddos. Add those who are five to ten years old, that’s another 25,000 or so. Conservatively, the guy with the belly that shakes like jelly has to hand deliver gifts for close to 40,000 children in this one city alone.
Now, if Santa were one of our Cleveland movers, a few of our requirements might cramp his magical style. He couldn’t go breaking and entering into homes through the chimneys. He would have to use the doors, like any sane professional does. Nor would he transport his goods with reindeer and sleigh. He would employ a variety of moving vans and trailers and dollies. And he wouldn’t be parking his equipment on people’s roofs.
Instead of wrapping paper, goods would be cushioned with bubble wrap and packed safely in cardboard cartons. Children would never receive damaged toys! As for the milk and cookies, he can take them to-go; no stopping and dawdling. Dispatch is on the phone, and little Tommy is about to wake up early. Better get a move on to get those presents in place before he gets up. If not, mom and dad have a lot of explaining to do!
Of course, Santa could never be a Cleveland mover, any more than Weleski and other Cleveland movers could ever be Santa. But, for one night a year, it sure would be fun to have Santa’s delivery abilities as a PSO (Professional Sleigh Operator). Think of the fuel it would save!
I wonder what reindeer run on?